From Hanoi to Hoi An

Just a reshuffle of the same few letters, a short flight, and we're out of the noise and bustle of the capital Hanoi into the peace and charm of the ancient city of Hoi An.

Everyone told us we'd love Hoi An, and love it we did. UNESCO certainly knows how to pick its sites, and once again we were bowled over by beautiful old shuttered shophouses, their walls draped with bright pink bougainvillea, and their regulation World Heritage ochre paintwork gently fading and peeling in the bright sun.

Twenty five percent of the population in Hoi An is of Chinese heritage, which adds another bright bold influence to the architecture. We were thrilled with the assembly halls and temples with their huge and colourful mythical monsters, scary fierce bad guys, and comforting lady goddesses.

A huge river flows tranquilly below the old quarter, the sea is only four kilometres away, and good restaurants and livley bars are plentiful, so it's not hard to imagine why Hoi An is such a honeypot on the tourist trail.

Our first walk around the centre was by night, and we joined our fellow rubberneckers in the throng, delighted to wander round busy but quiet streets beautifully lit by a thousand colourful Chinese lanterns hanging from every shop front.

We were probably the only visitors to Hoi An this year who didn't take advantage of the many tailor shops which will expertly and quickly make anything you like for a very reasonable price. All around us people were ordering ball gowns, tuxedos, business suits - you name it, someone will make it - but with our weight increase over the last seven months we knew we wouldn't want to be seen in anything that would fit us!

We spent a lovely day on a Vietnamese cookery class (see what I mean? obsessed with food). We began by visiting an organic vegetable and herb farm for fresh produce, then shopped in an amazing local market that sold all sorts of fresh but undesirable ingredients including live frogs that were ready skinned and still hopping about (eeek!!). We were proud of our efforts; amongst other things we successfully prepared rice noodles, papaya and banana blossom salad with chicken and peanuts, and fish marinated in something fiery, wrapped in banana leaves and barbecued.

One of our fellow would-be chefs, an Australian guy who was clearly a stranger to the kitchen, tasted the food at every stage of the preparation, each time smacking his lips, patting his wife appreciatively and exclaiming "Yum!"

This caused the chef to erupt into gales of laughter, while his two gorgeous young lady assistants giggled uncontrollaby. Eventually the chef felt able to share with us that "Yum!" in Vietnamese means "Horny!"

Our proudest achievement in Hoi An was to brave the Vietnamese traffic and hire bicycles for the day. We rode to the beach via beautiful brighter-than- emerald rice paddy fields, which together with the long stretch of sea and sand looked wonderful in the clear light and bright sunshine. We returned along narrow roads through pretty fishing villages, and returned saddlesore but triumphant with no traffic injuries to report.